Day 1 got off on a much better foot than I had anticipated. I knew I had to get the session done in the morning before leaving for work at 9am, otherwise I would have to do it after a long day on my feet and I didn’t want to tempt fate. The usual problem I have here is that I am so far from being a ‘roll out of bed and practice’ (or do anything) kind of person; anyone who has ever lived with me can vouch for my unwillingness to acknowledge anyone or anything for the first hour of my day, well-wishers be damned. But I was quite eager to get this party started, and managed to be up and on the mat before 8am (not to mention that I had a lot on my mind all night and was very awake very early anyhow).
So. Day 1. I Accept.
As is often the case with mantras, guided meditations, and other such words of wisdom, “I Accept” was right on point for me today. The last 24 hours had provided me with a decision to make which I had not anticipated, and left me feeling rather flummoxed on which direction to take (hopefully I can share this news on here soon, but for now, I’ll have to remain all cryptic and such). Ultimately I knew the answer the moment I had to answer it, but didn’t want to have to choose the answer I had to give. I needed to accept my fate (have I ever mentioned my penchant for the occasional side of melodrama? No? Try speaking to my sister and she’ll tell you all about it).
Although Adriene noted this practice and this mantra would be kept simple since it’s the first day, “Easing into it,” as she said, has never been my style. “I accept where my body is at today, and I show up for myself,” is the full phrase she suggested. I took it one step further, taking on board her words and adding – que aforementioned melodrama – “I accept what needs to be done.”
This felt wrong. This felt like I was trying to convince myself. This felt like a waste of time. I started this practice feeling uneasy about the mantra I was telling myself, even though I knew I needed to hear it, and couldn’t see how it would change anything. But I trusted in the process. I flowed. I breathed. I repeated the words with each inhale, and released a little more uncertainty with every exhale. When Adriene proclaimed, as she often does, to connect with the earth, feel your mat supporting you, and if you fall, “Your yoga mat has your back; I’ve got your back,” I knew I was exactly where I needed to be in that exact moment, hearing the words that finally helped me to surrender and accept.
I’m not going to sit here and say I felt completely accepting, if you will, by the end of the practice, because the thoughts were still there. I did, however, feel better prepared to properly think things through and carried the mantra with me throughout the rest of the day. Breathing it in. Releasing my fears out. I’m still acknowledging it now, 12 hours later.
Side note: my body is normally a crickety old mess first thing in the morning, poppin’ those knees and hatin’ on them hamstrings. Today was much better than normal, which was a pleasant surprise, and I most definitely accept that.